Day 9 and 10 –
I decided to combine the days I had in this post, just because both days were pretty similar in the three struggles:
Struggle #1: BREAD!
Dear lord in HEAVEN, I never realized how dependent I am on BREAD!! I think of everything I have that has gluten in it…
Pizza, breaded anything, flour, wheat bran, wheat germ, couscous, durum, matzo, semolina…
As my schedule went on, if I was out and about, I might have picked up a Starbucks coffee and a toasted bagel at the local coffee place, or grab a Jimmy Johns sub, or grab a Thai hot pot at Noodles and Co. or easily order a pizza on a Friday because I just didn’t feel like cooking a meal that night.
When I meet people who want to work with me, when I go to business meetings, and other purposes, I didn’t have to think about what I’m going to eat. I’d just figure it out, because living where I live, there are food establishments all over the place, or if it was catered, I’d simply pick something I’d usually get, and almost everything I ever picked had bread, because… I’ve loved bread since I sunk my teeth into it.
And now I was asked to get conscious about it, and I’d only think about that moment, at that moment. Which is not a good time.
Struggle #2 – Eating with my family!
The journey I’m on is for me, and while I make healthy and good food for them, my loving husband and daughter chew on pizza, pasta, chips, and stuff that makes my mouth water. And ice cream, and yogurt, and pie (remember, no dairy for me). And lollipops, and more than one fruit (I’m having one serving of fruit for the detox per day) and fruit rolls, and bagels. And toast. And pancakes. And. And. And.
That is really the hardest of all struggles. Such seduction. And about to get to Easter weekend. The one weekend where food rules are out the door. And Cadbury eggs. And pastries and yummy celebration meals.
And yet… I am on a mission from G-d. And that changed my thinking. The mighty sacrifice that symbolically takes place on Good Friday. I’m a mere human who whines about a few things left out of my daily chew, when there are greater sacrifices that have been made, so that I could be here. My mindset wanted to lean back to old habit, but I recognized I’m retraining my brain to clean out my system in 30 days, and rebuild a better plan for a healthier food life. So my mind eased up and shifted toward looking for what I can eat, instead of what I can’t.
Struggle #3: THE FREAKING INGREDIENTS ON LABELS!!!
Ok, so I had a moment. I did. I confess. But I contacted my Health Coach Nicole to make sure I didn’t completely mess up my new detox style.
Backstory: I went to Costco and had such an eye opening grocery store experience. This was the first time I went solely for the purpose of getting foods for me. Organic, and sugar/caffeine/dairy/gluten free. (How the heck is that possible, you’re thinking? I know. But it was.)
They had organic vegetables, fresh and frozen!
They had healthy foods in bulk.
Organic chicken and other meats!
They even had this:
And it’s so good!
Another backstory: I recently had a most delicious soup that my girlfriend’s mother made for me. It was a tomato vegetable beef soup and loaded with vegetables. I thought about that soup a couple weeks later as I just began my detox, and how I could make a big pot of it. When I got the recipe, I went to find the items. The tomato source I would have normally purchased to make the soup had sugar added to it, and I needed to opt out of that this time. I thought, I’ll make it from sorta-scratch… maybe I can get tomato sauce? Or maybe fire roasted diced tomatoes and puree it? Or just get a bunch of tomatoes and cook them?
Back at Costco: I walked through the aisles and found a box of these cans —
Organic tomato sauce! Never knew! GREAT! Brought ’em home.
And then look at this!
Organic frozen veggies? Fantastic! Must have!
And when I finally found a day to make it, I chopped a couple of left over pork chops I had seasoned and baked in the oven, threw it in the pot, added chopped onion, olive oil and the veggies, then two cans of the sauce, followed by 1.5 cans of water, and eventually some hot sauce (I like my food slightly spicy).
The final pot? NOM NOM! Hearty! SCORE!!!
In that pot was my protein and veggies. On the side was my quinoa salad seasoned with salt, garlic and Kerry Gold butter and dressed up with red onions, diced tomatoes and chopped Persian cucumbers (made up for the healthy fats and carbs I needed for my meal) and felt really happy I found a new soup I could have in my life and be good for me.
I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the used cans of tomato sauce to rinse out, and I suddenly thought — Oh no. I never read the ingredients on the box of cans — and then thought — oh, come on. It’s organic tomato sauce. They won’t have sugar in there —
And yet, like a perfectly scary movie, I turned the can in slow motion to show me the ingredients and nutrition label, fully invested in fear with dramatic spoiler music running through my mind.
Please don’t have any sugar.
Please don’t have any sugar.
Please don’t have any sugar.
And then my heart sunk.
I text messaged Nicole. I thought, oh no. Here I made a big pot of the good stuff. She was really encouraging and just emphasized “in moderation.”
It all worked out in the end. My husband ate a huge bowl of it, leaving me with enough to have one bowl and pack the other for another day.
If there is one thing I’m learning from the first 10 days of my detox life, it’s centered around being conscious of what food I’m eating.
Before industry was developed, we needed to be conscious of our food. Our ancestors grew their own food or went to the market where farmers brought food grown for us to select. Over the decades, the ease in which we get food totally has us compromising consciousness in what it is we eat.
Now in restaurants we can actually see how many calories a meal would be. Some places have binders that have the full information of every meal they make and what’s in it. But the real problem is our own desire to look into it. When we go out, unless we have an allergy, medical condition, or doctors orders, we really don’t get conscious about what we are putting to fuel our tank.
I’d put the best of me into everything I do, except my own body. And how crazy is that… because if I don’t care about my body, but care about everything else, what good will it be if, because of my poor eating habits, I weren’t around to see the results of my efforts? I want to be around. I’m not done living, and moreso, I want to live well. From the inside out.
So I’m still alive on day 10 🙂 and feeling super conscious about what kind of fuel I want in my system. And I’m realizing, that I am more alert, awake, able and feeling so much better than I did 10 days ago, and without caffeine, and the foods I thought contributed to my happiness. Everything I loved can still be in my life, but as a treat, not as a staple. I like the new staple I’m learning for my personal machine. Feels way better.
I’m going to try and post again after 5 days (day 15). Let’s see what comes of this. I know I need to drink more water. I am going to try and find more meal ideas. I’m going to revive my joy of chia (made puddings with that when I was on low g.i.) and start adding in some cardio to my days.
20 days left. I can do this!!
Wish me less struggle, more success!